One of the things we've heard the most from people is that they don't want to say anything wrong or that they just straight up don't know what to say. Let me tell you this: neither do we.
No one can make sense of the situation, so there isn't really any use trying, but I think the worst thing you can do for anyone in this situation or any other form of grief is to say nothing. We enjoy sharing Annalee's story. She was and still remains a huge part of our lives, so to not acknowledge that is more hurtful than any words. Yes, we will probably cry, but some of those tears are joyful.
Also know that a simple 'I'm thinking of you,' goes a very, very long way. It may not seem like it, but trust me, it does. In the early days after Annalee's loss, I pictured everyone's messages and love forming a great big bubble that surrounded and protected us. I could actually feel it around us and I still do.
Just be sincere. Ask questions. Share your feelings. Speak from the heart and nothing you say will be wrong.