June 19th was the worst day of our lives. The days after that were measured in comparison. The day we let her go was the second worst, the day we had to go to the funeral home was the third, the day we picked up her ashes was the fourth. I think it helped us to get though those days- to know that it's not going to get any worse. If we made it though yesterday, we can make it through today.
As horrible as all of those days were, I think the nights before were worse. The anticipation of having to let her go, having to make arrangements, etc. was so, so tough. We were really preparing ourselves for the worst, but more often than not, and as is usually the case in life, the reality wasn't nearly as bad. Letting her go meant that we got to meet her. Picking up her ashes meant that we got to bring her home. The days we thought were going to be unbearable always seemed to have a silver lining. We couldn't see it before it happened and even though in the moment it might've been faint, it was there.