Eric and I decided pretty early on to keep Annalee's room intact. It felt like such a welcoming space. We'd go in on our own and sit in the rocking chair and talk to her- it was a sad place, but also one filled with love. Since then, I've changed out a couple of the pictures and put a few of her stuffed animals away. Now I use it most often to do yoga- I light candles and turn on the fun lights that we bought for her and I try to find some peace.
Day 3. In Honour
It turns out that October is also breast cancer awareness month which is kind of a funny coincidence. I lost my grandma to breast cancer 17 years ago. She was such a force in all of our lives. She was so kind and so funny and she had satin bedding which, as a kid, was the be all end all. When I'd stay at her house, she'd let me snuggle up in her bed and we'd watch All My Children.
I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in spiritual guides and my grandma has always been mine.
When we first lost Annalee, I found myself furious with her. How could someone who had watched over me for so long let this happen? But that anger very quickly turned into reassurance. Annalee had someone to welcome her and to hold her. Now, I'm lucky enough to have both of them with me.
Today I honour both of my angels.